Have you ever felt that you and your horse should be able to form a better partnership? Do you want the horse to look at you as someone he can trust his life with, as well as a buddy, partner, and a creative individual who does “fun stuff?” There are so many ways to do this, but you should first have a basic understanding of the nature of the horse: how they react to situations they see as dangerous, what they look for in a leader, and some qualities horses appreciate. We would create a better relationship with our horses if we try to understand their intentions.

The horse is a simple animal. It is built, bred, and brought up to survive. This means that if the horse is uncertain or feels threatened, he or she will do everything possible to leave the situation, by either leaving physically or dissociating emotionally. What dissociation means is that something traumatic has occurred so part of the animal’s soul has left its body for a period of time. Have you have ever seen a horse with a “glazed over” look, or they are completely panic stricken? A part of their soul will have left its body because it is no longer safe, given the situation. Human examples of this may include rape, physical abuse, or a physical trauma. There is a point where a person’s life is so deeply threatened that he or she will not want to be in their body because the trauma can not be handled. This piece of them will usually return once everything is safe, but it doesn’t always. The horse is a very sensitive animal and should not be pressured to the extent that he or she needs to leave. Since we have taken away the safety from the herd it is our responsibility to give them the safety they need, where they can look to us for guidance. With this guidance they will return to their bodies because they trust you to keep them safe and respected.

Most horses are looking for a leader that will take care of them. Even though the leadership role in a herd is stressful, a horse is not willing to hand their life over to “just anyone.” The individual that assumes this responsibility needs to be someone who can take care of the herd: not to own them, but to respect their likes and dislikes, and guide them in the areas they have trouble coping with.

The horse is so concerned about its survival that he will test a person who claims they are “boss.” In order for you to be accepted as the leader, the horse will need to trust you, your judgment, and your respect for him or her. When a horse tests you, keep in mind this is for survival purposes, no matter what he is doing. This is where you can earn a lot of respect. Your horse needs to know if you will lose your temper or give up on him. If you do not follow through consistently, he will know that HE needs to be the leader. His life depends on it!

A quality that horses respect is truth. How many times have you heard “leave your problems at the gate?” When you leave your problems at the gate other people may not know about it but your horse, who is very sensitive, knows you are hiding something. He or she will not know what to expect and may not trust you. They will respect you more if you show them what you are feeling inside, and they might even want to help you work through your problems. Keep in mind that some emotions are threatening to a horse, such as anger or uncertainty. It will help you a great deal if you pay attention to how your horse deals with your emotions.

Horses try to escape pressure, and learn from the release of pressure. This comes with their survival skills and can be used for training. In order to communicate, pressure is put on the horse, whether it is a mare shaking her head, guidance from a halter or a dressage whip, and when the horse moves in the right direction, the pressure is taken off. The quicker the release, the faster the horse will learn that it is a good thing to do. It is something anyone can do. Here’s the only trick. A person needs to feel with their heart, what the horse needs in regard to guidance, fun, and creativity. New skills and a nice ride (from both the human and the horse) can come from “play time” instead of from a schooling session.

Offer them your heart and with it, tell them of your spirit, your dreams, and what you want from the relationship, and they will tell you what they want if you are listening quietly. Horses are meant to be equals, as another spirit journeying in a world we have to share. We need to take the time to truly convince them that we too can “play” with trust, respect, and fun. On this two way street of respect we can form the most amazing relationships we ever dreamed possible.

If you are interested in learning more, or want to visit our retreat, visit us online at: www.YemayaHorseRetreat.com