Seller's Terms...what they say & what they mean...

• Big Trot: can't canter within a 2 mile straightaway
  
• Nicely Started: we can lounge him, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet
  
• Top Show Horse: won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusual low entries due to a hurricane
  
• Home Bred: knows nothing except being raised on the front porch
  
• Recently Vetted: someone else found something badly wrong with the horse
  
• Big Boned: good thing horse has mane & tail or he would be mistaken for a cow
  
• Doing Courses: when tranqualized to the eyeballs & lunged 6 hrs straight before hand
  
• Well Mannered: hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week
  
• Professionally Trained: hasn't stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone for a month
  
• Should Mature 16 hands: currently 13h, dam is 14.3hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15h but this horse will definitely defy his DNA
  
• To Good Home Only: not really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what he is worth, 2) allow current owner to tuck in beddy - bye every night, 3) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document
  
• Bold: runaway
  
• Athletic: He's a runaway, but he looks good doing it
  
• Needs intermediate Rider: runaway
  
• Needs Experienced Rider: "dead" runaway
  
• Dead Quiet: just dead
  
• Started O/F: Started overfeeding because we can't ride
  
• No Vices: especially when he wears his muzzle
  
• Light Cribber: we can't afford to build any more barns & fences for the buzz saw
  
• No Time For Him: he's lucky to be fed
  
• Excellent Disposition: never been out of his stall
  
• Clips, hauls, and Loads: Clippity, clippity is the sound his hooves make when he hauls a$$ across the parking lot when you try to load him
  
• Great Halter Prospect: Bred for beauty, not for brains

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• Selling due to divorce: My spouse certaintly couldn't stand him...
  
• Bomb Proof: So dumb you could set off a bomb under his tail and he wouldn't blink.
  
• Good Mother: She's too dumb to do anything else.
• He Can Do It All: bite, kick, buck, rear...
• Flasy: nice looking... forget about him being rideable
• Stunning: you'll be stunned at his kicking power
• Very Brave: even a whip can't force him back
• Slight Case Of Navicular: better buy him before he's too lame to walk
• Proven Sire: The mare we bred him to had a baby
• Lots of Potential: Under the right circumstances, you migh be able to ride him
• Great Bloodlines: He can't do anything, but that's okay becuase some horse 20 generations back did something
• Already Broke: two fences, one arm, six buckets
• Got Cow Sense: he'll attack any cattle within a 5-mile radius
• Unregistered: probably stolen
• Protective Mother: don't even think about going near the foal
• Lady's Horse: Perfectly sweet with women, but will kill men
• Good Disposition: The only good thing about him
• Selling Due to Retirement: he's making us old
• Started Good: we quit while we were ahead
• Started: we quit while we were still alive
• Loud Color: we spray painted him bright red
• Really Broke: literally
• Slight Nervouse Habit: he shakes and has muscles ticks anytime anyone asks him to think
• Great Stud: breeding is the only thing he's good at
• Anyone Can Ride: as long as they have the right protective gear, they will survive
• Smooth: you won't notice he's bucking until you're on the ground!
• Event Prospect: Big, Fast Horse
• Dressage Prospect: Big, Slow Horse
• Hack Prospect: Pretty Color
• Sporting Prospect: Short, Fast Horse
• Camp Prospect: Fast Horse which can turn
• Endurance Prospect: Fast Horse which will turn sometimes
• Flashy: White Socks
• Attractive: Bay
• 15.2hh: 14.3hh
• 16.2hh: 15.3hh
• To Loving Home Only: Expensive
• To Show Home Only: Very Expensive
• Needs Experienced Rider: Potentially Lethal
• Elegant: Thin
• In Good Condition: Foundered
• Free Moving: Bolts
• Quiet: Lame in Both Front Legs
• Dead Quiet: Lame in All Four Legs
• Good in Traffic (Bombproof): Lame all Round, Deaf and Blind
• Loves Children: Kicks and Bites
• Pony Type: Small and Hairy
• Arab Type:Looks startled
• TB Type: Looks Terrified
• Quarter Horse Type: Chunky
• Halter Horse Type: Fat
• Warmblood Type: Big and Hairy
• Draught Type: Big and Exceedingly Hairy
• Easy to Catch: Very Old
• Must Sell: Wife has left home and taking kids
• All Offers Considered: I am in Traction for 6 months
• Good Jumper prospect: Looks great jumping over the pasture fence, if you can ever catch'im, you might just have yourself a great jumper!